Sirius Runs Away
by harprani
Summary: This is just a oneshot about Sirius running away from James's POV. I might add to it from Sirius's and Remus's POV later though. PLease R


_This is just a oneshot, but I might add to it later, or more likely create a more developed version of the marauders' last few years at Hogwarts._

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from Harry Potter**

It was one o'clock in the morning and James Potter sighed contentedly as he sipped a cup of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream, utter perfection.

Earlier that night James had went up to his room, and unable to sleep snuck back down once his parents had gone to bed. This wasn't an infrequent occurrence in the Potter household, James even suspected that his father knew of it though he had never let on, all the same these moments could never become monotonous for James.

Something about how the mansion seemed forbiddingly quiet at night, even slightly creepy without the daytime brightness, never failed to send shivers up his spine. Yet curled up under a blanket and sipping the hot chocolate that their house elf, Tinky, had made him James felt strangely safe. The effect was doubled by the fierce thunderstorm outside.

How his parents could fall asleep through the noise was shocking. James himself had always been a heavy sleeper; once asleep he was like the living dead. But getting there was the problem.

James let his thoughts drift to school, Hogwarts. It was just a few weeks into summer vacation, the end of June, and already he was missing the place. Well not so much the classes, but he missed his friends and their monthly romps of the grounds, he missed pulling pranks that drove the teachers crazy, and most of all he missed Lily Evans, the most beautiful girl in the world.

The same Lily who insisted that she hated him, got into a screaming match with him every other day, and who he was completely and hopelessly in love with.

He drifted into fantasies then, schemes of how to get Lily to go out with him. He had been asking her since third year, but she maintained that she would rather go out with the giant squid.

With that his thoughts went to his friends. He automatically glanced out of the window at the sky when he thought of Moony. The full moon had taken place only three days ago and Remus would still be recovering. James hoped that it hadn't been too bad, but he knew that the conditions for his change at home weren't nearly as good as they were at Hogwarts without his friends to keep him company.

Peter was likely enjoying himself. He had spent weeks talking about the trip that he and his family were taking to America; he would be away for the whole summer. Coming from a family with a little less than ideal financial and social status, Peter felt proud he was able to go on the vacation and had been bragging non-stop. Admittedly, the constant mention of the topic had been getting rather irritating, but James knew that being friends with two of the most popular guys at school as well as one of the smartest left Peter little to brag about. So he had put up with it good-naturedly and stopped himself from reminding Peter that both he and Sirius were heirs from very wealthy families, and that they all could beat him at any subject.

Sirius was not nearly as understanding and even a warning from Remus, who was the best at understanding others, couldn't stop him from making a nasty comment when Peter had been rambling for far too long. But Sirius had always been blunt and ready to confront anything, he was one of the bravest people James knew. It was Sirius who suggested that they become animagi for Remus and he was the first to achieve it if only by a couple minutes.

James couldn't blame him. Whenever any kind of holiday where he was required to go to that "horrible house" came up, Sirius always became more touchy and moody than he already was. Generally Sirius was a pretty easy-going guy, but bringing up certain topics was a guarantee to get him into one of his _moods_. That was James's term for those black times where Sirius would be sulky and irritable, explode at people without notice, throw things around, and basically scare everybody senseless.

His family and home life was definitely one of those guaranteed topics. James remembered the first time he saw Sirius in one of his moods, in first year right before Christmas Break.

**FlashBack**

**

* * *

**

_James stormed down the hall, furious. He had just had a shouting match with his best friend of all of five months, Sirius Black. He couldn't understand it, Sirius had never been this sensitive; all he had done was played a simple prank, turning all his clothes bright pink. It was fairly routine, not even that elaborate compared the pranks the pair had played on others namely Snivellus. _

_The two had been exchanging such harmless pranks since they first met, back at the beginning of the term, much to the disapproval of Remus. He was another close friend as well as fellow roommate. However, it was to the awe of Peter, a timid boy also belonging in their dorm, and who tagged along with them. As far as James could see he had done nothing wrong, Sirius had done the same thing many times before. _

_It was Remus who was hurrying towards him now, from the portrait hole._

"_What!" James exclaimed angrily, still confused about his earlier argument. _

"_I'm not the one you're fighting with James," Remus pointed out._

"_Sorry." He muttered bowing his head shamed facedly._

"_Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about," Brushing it off with a wave of his hand, "I wanted to talk to you about Sirius."_

_At this James sputtered, angry once more._

_Remus held up a hand, "Let me finish." He paused waiting for him to make another comment James assumed. But he remained quiet. Remus glanced around quickly, the corridor was deserted. "What's coming up in two days?"_

"_Umm…Christmas Break?"_

"_Exactly."_

"_And what does this have to do with Sirius's behavior?" James asked, voice filled with sarcasm. _

"_Think about it James," Remus sighed, impatient, "Sirius got an owl a couple days ago." Remus glanced over at him, "You were reading the Daily Prophet and gripping over the results of that recent quidditch game."_

"_Oh," was all James said motioning him to continue._

"_The letter said that he would have to go home for Christmas. And well, you know how Sirius feels about his family. It's worse since this is the first he'll be seeing them since the sorting and I expect he's nervous."_

_Indeed James did know. Sirius had spent the first half of the term making flippant comments about his family. So much so that even James, who was so rarely fazed, stared at him in shock. These remarks had come after a nasty howler Sirius had received shortly after the sorting had taken place. Much of what his mother had said was unspeakable, and unfathomable that any mother could say to her child._

_If it had been James he would have burst into tears, but when his friends watched him warily after the howler had exploded along with the rest of the school. Sirius had only grinned and cheekily waved towards the Slytherin table where his cousins Bellatrix and Narcissa had were sitting looking at him with smirks on their faces. But their smug looks turned into sneers upon seeing Sirius's reaction._

_One thing surprised James however, "Sirius nervous, Sirius is never nervous."_

_At this Remus very uncharacteristically smirked, "Oh he isn't is he. I expect he wants us to believe that, but Sirius is like that he always covers up how he really feels when it comes to this kind of thing. Haven't you noticed?" The smile disappeared. "All the same hurry up and forgive him will you? He's stressed enough as it is without thinking you're mad at him."_

"_And I have every right to be!" James hmphed. _

"_I know, but please be nice. And don't tell him I said any of this." Remus suddenly looked rather panicked._

"_Why?"_

"_You know very well why!"_

_It was true he did, as outgoing as Sirius was and as much as he seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve Sirius really was very much a private person._

"_Oh alright, I promise I won't mention a word of this to him, and I'll forgive him too; he'll probably be sorry now that he's cooled off a bit."_

_

* * *

_

**End of FlashBack**

A particularly large clap of thunder startled him out of his revere.

James still hadn't contacted his friends yet, except for Remus. The trip his owl, Merlin, would have to take to reach Peter was so long that James wanted him to have a good rest first. He had just recently sent Remus an owl about how he was after the full moon and the reply said he was good, just tired.

Years ago Sirius told James to never send him an owl when he was at home because if someone found out he would be in big trouble. Normally the two communicated using enchanted mirrors, but this year Sirius even deemed that unacceptable.

Apparently there was a big family gathering going on at his house this summer and "with snotty, stuck up, tattle-tale, little cousins all over the place" Sirius would likely be found out. He had told James that he would contact him if possible.

James froze.

There was a quiet knocking sound coming from the door almost unnoticeable with the storm roaring.

He debated what to do. Of course he could just get up and open the door, but these were dangerous times. Just this week there were reports of muggle killings and several muggle-borns had been brutally murdered, the work of Death-Eaters. He could go and wake up his parents, but that would be rather cowardly, especially if it turned out to be nothing.

Taking a deep breath he grabbed his wand, thinking about what the next mornings' headline might be. He hoped it wasn't anything along the lines of _**Heir of Potter Family Found Dead! Suspected Death-Eater involvement. **_With a gulp he opened the door.

"Sirius!" James couldn't believe it, what was his best mate doing at his door at 1:15 in the morning, in the middle of a storm no less. He took a closer look at him, Sirius was soaked to the bone, shivering, and seemed to be only half conscious. Also he was dragging his trunk behind him and holding his broom in a death grip.

"Hey, James." Was all he managed to gasp out before collapsing.

"Mum! Dad!" James cried. He was ashamed to admit he was scared as he dragged Sirius's limp body into the house. He had never seen him so still.

"Don't wake up the whole house for me mate," Sirius mumbled.

James ignored him, "Don't talk. And for Merlin's sake don't move," he called down the stairs before bursting into his parents bedroom.

"What is it James?" his mother, Katherine, asked sounding rather panicked while his father was jumping up to grab his wand.

"Come quick! It's Sirius, he came here and collapsed, I don't know what's wrong with him!"

"Did you see any blood or injuries?" his mother asked as she headed out the bedroom door.

"No," James replied, thanking god that his mother was a healer at Saint Mungos.

"Well if the poor boy was out this weather he must be freezing. Harold, have Tinky take a pair of James's pajamas to the bathroom, and James come with me."

His mum kneeled down by Sirius as she examined him.

"You don't have to go through all this trouble for me Mrs. Potter," murmured Sirius.

"Hush dear. I want to," Katherine stated firmly, "And for heaven's sake don't call me Mrs. Potter its either mum, or Katherine to you."

In response Sirius grinned, but James looked at him worriedly, he was still shivering despite being inside. And when Katherine put her palm to his forehead she frowned.

"What is it mum?"

"Oh, he just has a bit of a fever," seeing James's expression she hurriedly continued, "It's nothing serious. He collapsed from exhaustion, and I expect that the fever came from spending such a long time in the cold. I suppose that the rain didn't help matters either."

"So, I'm not going to die." James had to grin, it was just like Sirius to crack jokes at a time like this.

"No hun, you're definitely not going to die but…" Katherine trailed of, frowning once more, "but I would like to hear the story of why you're here, and why you spent so long outside in this weather." She gave him a pointed look, glancing at where his trunk still stood in the hall. "Not now of course, and Sirius you are always welcome in this house" She said, emphasizing the last part.

James glanced from Sirius (they had moved him to the couch) to his mother.

"Now dear, I know you're tired, but I think a hot shower would do you good. Tinky has put some of James's clothes in the bathroom, and there are towels there too. You're welcome to use anything you need. Give your wet clothes to Tinky once you're done, she'll have them washed. James help him, and once you're done come to my room I want to talk to you." She said the last part sharply.

James just nodded and put an arm around Sirius's shoulders to help him up the stairs. "I'm sorry for all this fuss," Stated Sirius.

"What do you mean fuss? You're my best friend, and I'm not sorry." James said a little angrily. He sighed, "We can argue later, go take your shower and then we can both get to bed."

Wordlessly Sirius nodded heading towards the shower, "And James," he paused, voice still horse.

"Yeah."

"Thanks." James grinned before heading to his parent's room.

* * *

"Now James, honey I can see your eyes are closing so I'll try to make this fast. I want you to not push Sirius. We all want to find out the whole story but he'll likely not tell us any thing if we keep asking him about it."

His father was nodding in agreement, "I know mum, he _has _been my best friend for the last five and a half years you know." James couldn't help adding.

"I thought you might, but I wanted to make sure," suddenly alert Katherine said, "And what were you doing up may I ask?"

James glanced up quickly at this, but smiled upon seeing the way his mum's eyes were twinkling.

"I think I'll just go to bed now," James said before dashing off leaving his parents with amused looks on their faces.

"I'll ask Tinky to wash out your mug." His mum called after him.

* * *

The next few days past without incident, with James playing quiddich and Sirius recovering. He sent Remus an owl, telling him about Sirius arrival, and Remus had replied saying he'd be there the next day.

Remus was supposed to come today, but James hadn't mentioned anything to Sirius yet. His mum hadn't allowed Sirius out of bed yet, and though he complained loudly about it, which was usual, something seemed off about his behavior. He had gone back to his usual cheerful, jokey self but James could see it wasn't natural, that he was trying to cover something up.

James couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but he hoped with Remus there Sirius would open up. He had always been good at getting him to talk.

Whenever James brought up anything to do with Sirius's arrival or why he was here, even in passing his face became an emotionless mask. The one he reserved for when he was trying to hide something.

James supposed it had something to do with his upbringing, Sirius had once said off-handily that Blacks weren't supposed to show any weakness.

Just then the door bell rang.

"Moony!" James cried.

"Hey Prongs," Moony was looking as tired and bedraggled as ever but still smiling. "How's Padfoot doing?"

"Oh he's fine, but I suppose that if we wait a moment longer he'll jump out of bed. He's been confined for two days now."

"Well in that case we'd better hurry."

"Moony! James didn't tell you that you were coming." Sirius said when they entered the room casting an accusing look at the subject of his statement.

James shrugged, unashamed, "I wanted it to be a surprise."

The conversation then drifted into comfortable topics including the completion of the marauder's map.

"Say how's Pete doing anyway on that oh so wonderful vacation of his?" Sirius asked sarcastically.

"Probably good. I just sent Merlin out with a letter for him in fact. Have you got any response from him Remus?"

"Yup, he's doing good, he tells me the beaches are awesome. I sent him an owl at the beginning of summer vacation." He turned to Sirius, "So how was that family reunion of yours that you were complaining so much about."

James stared at Remus shocked that he'd had the guts to say that. Sirius's expression had literally darkened. Sirius was one of the few, well only expect for Professor Dumbledore, person James knew who was actually scary when he got mad, James would hate to be on the receiving end of Sirius's temper.

When he finally replied his voice was guarded, "It was okay, not much to tell."

There was an awkward silence which James finally broke, "Me and Remus will go beg mum to let you out of this bed and then maybe we can play some quidditch." He said in a falsely cheery voice.

"Sure." Sirius's tone still had an edge to it.

When they left the room Remus pulled him to the side, glancing around making sure they weren't in hearing distance of Sirius. "What's the deal James?"

"I know as much as you do, remember what I said in that letter."

Remus ran his hand through his hair, "I know, I know but something's bothering, him he's upset."

"I know, but there's no way we'll get him to talk now."

"Tonight might be a better bet," Remus said thoughtfully, "By then he'd of calmed down I think I can get it out of him. But let me do the talking." He suddenly sounded alert.

James nodded, "We better hurry up if we want to convince mum in time to play some quidditch," he glanced at the sky. "Come on."

Remus groaned and rolled his eyes but came all the same.

* * *

That night the boys were getting ready for bed after a long, enjoyable day playing quidditch when Remus brought the subject up.

"Sirius," he began quietly, but in a tone that left no room for argument. "Why are you here?"

He laughed weakly, "Same reason you are Moony to have some fun with my friends."

Remus gave him a look. "Sirius, don't try to blow this off, you know that we have a right to hear this story. James has the right to know this story, after all you're staying with his family. They have no explanation, no idea of how long you want to stay."

James was startled he knew what Remus was trying to do, he was making Sirius feel guilty. If there is one thing James knew Sirius hated, it was to be guilty. James didn't like what Remus was doing but saw that it was necessary. He wished that his name wasn't dragged into it however.

"As for me, well I trusted you with my secret, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. If you guys hadn't been so understanding I would have likely been thrown out of the school. Instead all of you, and especially you Sirius, helped me, let us do that for you now." His voice became pleading, "Let us help you the way you've done for us so many times."

"How do you know it's something I need help with?" Sirius asked calmly. James couldn't help but admire his strength, annoying though it was, it couldn't be easy to keep his tone as even as he did.

"You turn up at James's house in the middle of the night, soaked to the bone, ill, carrying all your stuff, and with no means of transportation except your feet. Of course you need help."

There was a long silence where Sirius and Remus seemed to be staring each other down and James just watched the exchange, wide eyed.

"Fine you win." Sirius laughed, but it was a hollow, empty laugh that scared James more than anything he had ever seen or heard Sirius do before. "I'll tell you everything." He looked at James ruefully, "I owe it to you."

"We'll listen," Remus simply said.

He tipped his head back, slouched against the wall and shut his eyes tightly. "I ran away."

"What!" James sputtered, he knew he shouldn't be surprised the way Sirius talked. But that was all he thought it was, talk.

Remus snapped his head around to look at him and immediately James quieted. He gestured for Sirius to continue.

"The whole family was there, talking about the usual things mudbloods, and half-breeds." He opened one eye, giving Remus an apologetic look.

"No offence taken."

"Anyway," Sirius continued, "As usual I was tuning out the whole lot of them and their rubbish. Normally I'd have a decent conversation with Andy but after…" He trailed off, Andromeda's expulsion from the Black family had always been a sore point for him.

"Anyway," he said again. " That was going on for a while until," he took a deep breath. "Until Bella started talking."

"Bellatrix." He explained at their questioning glances.

"She started saying stuff about Voldemort, the Dark Lord she called him." He scoffed, but James could see that he was getting upset, behind his cool front.

"She raised up her sleeve and showed us the dark mark. It's a skull with a serpent coming out of the mouth. It was a black mark burned into her skin." Sirius was looking sick as he described it, and James was horrified though he hadn't even seen it.

"Narcissa was determined not be shown up and started going on about how as soon as her engagement with Lucius," Sirius said, face twisting with disgust, "became official she was going to be recruited into the Death-Eater ranks too. Of course through all this dear old mum," Sirius's voice was filled with sarcasm, "was looking extremely interested."

"No," Remus whispered.

"What?" James asked, clueless.

"Yes," Sirius laughed darkly, "she suggested, 'You should join Sirius, maybe then it would show that being a Gryffindor didn't make you a complete waste.' Of course, I said I'd rather die, and she started on how she was so ashamed and how worthless I was, and that she should of killed me the day I was born." His voice broke. As hard as he tried to keep calm, the way he'd always managed to do before.

James exchanged a glance with Remus who wore an equally startled expression. He had never thought that his mother's comments actually bugged Sirius in anyway, never mind hurt him. He wished he could comfort his friend but had no idea how. Before Sirius had never needed comforting that, he, James, knew about at least. What kind of friend was he if he didn't even know when his best mate was upset? How many times had Sirius confronted him when he was feeling down, always managing to make him feel better. And he, James, didn't even know _how _to return the favor.

"Then Reggie began how he would love to join the Death Eaters and how noble their cause was." Sirius took a deep breath, "I walked out of the room then and when mum asked where I thought I was going I said I was packing because I didn't want to be her son. She just said go ahead. So I did and she disowned me when I walked out of there, blasted my name off the tree."

Sirius was crying, James realized, making no noise, but crying and suddenly James wanted to kill the Blacks. They didn't deserve him he thought fiercely.

Never had James seen Sirius cry, and by Remus's uncertain expression neither had he. Peter had cried in front of his friends too many times to count, and James himself had done so a couple times. Remus cried the night they found out he was a werewolf, but not Sirius. Never Sirius, not when Andy was disowned, not when he got howlers, not when he found out his brother was devoted to the dark arts, and so many other times where others who were less strong would of sobbed Sirius didn't.

He had always lent his strength to others as uncomfortable with his own vulnerability as he was surprisingly Sirius was good at not just cheering people up, but actually making them feel better about whatever situation had arisen.

James then did the only thing he could think of he hugged his friend, and said, "You're part of our family now." For once Sirius didn't cringe away.

"Yeah Padfoot we're all your family now, after what you've done for me, for all of us I would be ashamed to call you anything else." Remus added softly.

And through his tears Sirius smiled a real smile for the first time since he ran away.

_Wow I can't believe it this is the longest thing I've ever written for this site. Yay! I don't think it's to good myself, but tell me what you think. If I get enough reviews I might add to it, making a version from Sirius's and Remus's point of views._

_I know there are probably tons of grammar errors, but that has never been my strong point. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. Contructive criticism is welcome!  
_


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